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"Do what you want, as long as it doesn't bother anyone." That's my feeling to everything. And it was my feeling to drugs up until the first time I took some. Alright, alright, I rushed into this a little bit. A utopian just openly admits to taking drugs. This sets off alarms in anyone's brain, and it rightfully should. Welcome to my latest Reality Check. It's one that I feel really deserves the title of "reality check". Let's begin! We start off the same way I started off my atheist and vegetarian article: you either do it right, or you do it wrong. Unfortunately, it's the wrong that people always seem to favor keeping in their minds. Even more unfortunately, it affects those of us who are doing it right. When we're kids, we're taught drugs are bad for you. And in most cases, they are, but the statement requires a rewording. Drugs are typically not bad for you, but for your body. Allow me to explain. Anyone knows that drugs alter your perception of reality. And the way people do this wrong is by making a big joke out of something that could really change your life forever. How many ghetto rats you think are doing it to learn something of themselves? I see YouTube videos of people on every different type of drug they can be on doing stupid retarded shit with their stupid retarded shit friends. "A hurr hurr, I'm on LSD. Look at the pretty colors guys, hurr hurr class of 2008!" You know what really got me thinking about drugs differently? Besides taking them, no, no, that's for the end. I watched "V For Vendetta" ( favorite movie of all time ) and then looked into the story of the comic book behind it. One of the characters, to get back to the night V was on fire and stuff and killed everyone, took LSD. As I read along, I thought... perhaps, that needed to be done. To think things differently, to see things differently. It's got to be a matter of pride among people. I know it was for me. I'll be the first person to tell you I have an active imagination, and I'm constantly talking to myself outloud as if someone's there. I'm probably insane already, and to not be able to truly imagine death-like symptoms hurt my pride as a human. Oh yeah, I'll talk about Utopianism all day, no problem, and you'll never get me to say humans are weak. Humans are very strong. We're one of few species to be able to communicate with a language, and the only to do it so vocally. ( to my knowledge ) We can adapt to many conditions, and hell we can even fly off into space. Humans are good. So you must understand it was hard for me to get over the thought that I simply needed a drug to experience what I wanted to - horrorific, terrible things, and death-like symptoms. I feel drugs are personal. I really really really wish people would've treated them that way, and not gotten addicted, and not invited over their toolish friends to abuse the drugs with them. Maybe then I could get 2 bottles of robitussin without people looking at me like an addict. One of my intelligent friends decided to get into drugs, and I pretty much knew cannabis ( weed ) was harmless as long as you did it intelligently, like my friends do, because we are not retarded shits. Turns out, woopie, it is. And with all things, taking it in excess (daily) would be a bad thing. Another of my friends decided to try DXM. Personal, alone, no problem. I was wary of it. I saw how he was on the trip and I was like "Hmm...", because it wasn't a very... positive... observation. (though very, very funny) For those who don't know, DXM is the drug found in Robitussin, called "Dextromethorphan". To this day, I don't see why they had to make it so hard to pronounce, but regardless, that's what they called it. You take so much DXM for your weight. There's even a really nice calculator you can download to tell you just how much you need for each "plateau", which is like a kinda... "feeling", a degree of feeling. I took 300mg the first night I tried it, which I would definitely agree sent me to the second plateau. As half-stated, I took DXM to feel scared. I didn't take it to HURR HURR laugh at myself, or fun. I love horror, I've got a collection on this PC of peoples' heads ripped off, and bodies torn, dogs beaten, people screaming in mental asylums, and some of these in video, too. But I knew looking at gore wasn't going to get me anywhere to be scared, because I don't really find it scary. So they say what you do in your day affects the trip you take. I was so excited, I made a playlist of Axis of Perdition, a sweeney song, and just some weird avant-garde. I looked at opacity.us ( awesome site btw ) for urban decay, and it started to click in. First, I pretty much had to crawl everywhere because I wasn't used to walking without feeling my legs move. After that, my friend suggested I jump and move a lot. Have you ever had lag in a game? That's sorta what being on DXM is like. I'd hit my mattress very hard, and literally 0.5 seconds later, hear the sound of it. Every time I closed my eyes, the music tried so desperately to paint something in my head. And it did work - a little. Sweeney Todd's "epiphany" song, I tried so hard to feel as if I was there, I was him, and I did - a little. It doesn't matter how powerful your imagination is; your mind, unless you're batshit insane, cannot be tricked into believing something is there when it's really not, unless you're under the influence. This means I have to take a bit more to get to where I need, and I believe 450mg (30 capsules) should do me well. Except I probably won't swallow all those damn things because swallowing 20 was really gross. So that was my first drug experience. My goal was to feel dead, to feel fear, higher than any game or movie can give me. And I felt it - a little. During the time, I maintained my grammatical skill and typing skill, yet, I was just too lazy to continue typing that way. I fell asleep on them, which is a terrible idea. The rest of my drugs were LSA, specifically hawaiian baby woodrose, which is legal and the only drug I now take, because I want to feel not dead, but alive. It's, being personal, a bit complicated and unless you inquire me, you won't know because I'm not describing it here. Now it's time to check your reality. I never noticed it until I finally learned drugs are not "bad", but everywhere I go, it seems people are always out to downtalk drugs. Pathetic attempts at making robitussin only available to purchase if you're 18+ years old, come on! Oh no, teen drug abuse, when you can walk right down the street and go outside nightclub and find cheap, albeit low quality, weed, with so much ease. Not even to say that every highschool simply does have a dealer of some sort. And yeah, tons of people will abuse them. Remember the utopian ratio? Works for most things! 9/10 people are abusing them for the wrong reasons. And it really sucks that it affects guys like me who just want to explore their subconcious. I always hate when people say "You could never imagine _______ because you've never been through it!" or, "You can't say that, because _______!". For example, someone would say, "You cannot imagine losing a child." as if it's so incredibly impossible to do so, which it most verily is not. And another example would be "You're not a doctor, so you can't say what is healthy or not.", which is even more wrong in every aspect and is one of the most childish copouts you can give to discredit someone. But unfortunately, I'm going to tell you that you don't know what you're going to be like, until you're actually on drugs. Weed, it can come down to the type of bud you used to get high, and DXM is known as having one of the most diverse effects, and all people can really agree on is that it is a "Dissociative", and it slows down your perception of things. (try climbing stairs!) But you know what really steams my broccoli ? ( yes, you can use that <3 ) When people try to talk all condescendingly to you. That's got to be the most embarrassing thing you can do to me. I've got enough balls to try drugs, to see what the big deal is, to finally get as far away from this stupid world as I can, and you look down on me for that? Let's say you suddenly realized, gasp, this is all a dream! Why would you do anything but try to wake up? And in that aspect, that is sorta what I'm trying to do. I could give you my whole theory on how we're living in a sorta dream world, but I'm not here to make you think I'm insane or anything. It really irks me when people are all haudy-gaudy about it... "Yes, drugs are very bad for you. Have I tried any? Heavens, no! They're bad for you. Watch and marvel as I throw my McDonalds wrappers all over the street." I guess it's just kinda... ironic to me. Being penalized for the actions of the exact people who I try to get others to not follow the suit of. Ah well. A final thing I'd like to mention is that drugs can generally not be taxed. While I don't doubt a marijuana company would pop up if they could, much like the tobacco companies do, it is possible (albeit difficult) to grow it right in your own back yard. Pills, anyone can get them, and you can find the ingredients in various places. It just really isn't in the government's best interest to allow Americans to have it. I think it's best to end this Reality Check with a bunch of quotes I've found on drug boards through the past week. (this RC took about a week's prep) Prying open his third eye,
"It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom, is what it is, okay? Keep that in mind at all times. Thank you!" |